Life goes on…

So with the court trial looming.. I wonder what life will be like afterwards. 

What if he gets away with what he did to me? Can I still move on knowing he’s free. I don’t think I can.

If he goes to prison…what length of time will I be satisfied with? 2,3,5,10 years? Cause I have to live with this for the rest of my life. My body is the crime scene… I can’t escape it! 

I have to watch my video interview next week.. And I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared in my life. I’ve already blocked out the 999 call from my mins, which police described to me as ‘chilling’… But to sit and watch myself from that night..seeing the mess I was in. The emotional torment I was under. Mix of anger, sorrow, grief even over the person I was is now lost, and guilt. Not that I thought I’d done anything to prevoke..but the fact I’d had sexual contact and intercourse with someone other than my partner. Kills me everyday that does! 

I honestly just want all this over with. Him behind bars for as many years as the judge can muster up. And for me and my family to try and move ahead. 

What’s the future hold for me? I have no idea. Discussions of getting married and finally being more settled in our home.. 

Will I have my happy ending?…

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